they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Randomize
