you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
