you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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