What a fucking waste of an outfit
North Korea, Best Korea!
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
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