my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
We left the knife in your bed.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
