nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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