I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
