we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Randomize
