So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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