I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
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