Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
