Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
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