You really coming over, don't trick.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
