This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Randomize
