I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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