apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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