I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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