'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
