This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
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