After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
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