tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Randomize
