Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
