Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
