When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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