do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
