Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
