just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
