you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Randomize
