Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
So many bounce houses so little time
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Randomize
