Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Randomize