hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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