and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Randomize
