eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
