your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
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