We need to rekindle our bromance
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
