Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
