there's paper in my vomit.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Randomize
