Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
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