I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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