You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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