your room smells of hookers.
And success
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
