sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Rumble strips road head = magical
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize
