I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
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