I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Randomize
