Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
