Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
So many bounce houses so little time
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Randomize
