Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
that is very illegal...i love you.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
