cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
Found your dick twin last night
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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