My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Randomize
