Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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