I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Randomize
