just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
