do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Randomize
