You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Randomize