It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
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