I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize