My room smells like vodka and shame
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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