this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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