but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
