it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
You've changed since you got that strap on
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Randomize
