I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
