I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
Randomize
