On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
