just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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